Twitter Followers and tweeting celebrities: The Ugly Truth

June 28, 2014

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Do you look at any of the people you are following?
Do you think any of the people that are following you look at your tweets?
See, I follow people I actually care to hear about what’s going on. I don’t follow people that I have no interest in. So, in return, I want people to follow me who have an interest in what I have to say. If they don’t then don’t follow me.
Stop asking me to follow you cause you follow me. Follow me if you like what I have to say. Don’t follow me cause you want something from me.

I’m not going to follow you if your tweets are stupid, lame, pointless, every 5 seconds, sexually explicit like links to https://www.hdpornvideo.xxx/?hl=es or other porn sites, or you are tweeting every celebrity you follow hoping they’ll acknowledge you in their return tweets. Don’t you think they have something more important to do than watch their twitter all day replying to twitter? Case in point. Corey Taylor, ( who as of this article is going by Captain Fluffy Bug) his twitter is filled with person after person begging pleading,
@CoreyTaylorRock I love Slipknot can you give me a fav?
Hey @CoreyTaylorRock “Through Glass” is my fav song of all time. Will you follow me?

It’s like the new version of groupies. Instead of following bands to concerts and hanging out at the side door begging for autographs, your on twitter begging for acknowledgment. I have a feeling that they have assistants that do nothing all day but sit there and pretend to be them. Just like the side door, they won’t remember your face or name one second after they walk away. They probably don’t really even see your tweets. In fact, I can see these 3 rockstars Corey Taylor (Slipknot and Stone Sour) , Dave Grohl (Foo Fighters) , and Jared Leto (30 Seconds to Mars) sitting around sharing a beer laughing at all us idiots on twitter who tweet to them them all day.

“Hey Dave buddy, man how many tweets a day do you get from people asking you to follow them?”

“Oh dude, I think my assistant said I get at least 15 a day from people asking for a follow. Isn’t that sad man? It’s like don’t these people have lives? What about you Jared?”

“What me? I don’t have a Twitter. Only 30 Seconds to Mars has one. I’m too busy for that crap.”

“Um, man I’m sorry to tell you, but you have one man. Both Dave and my account follow you. Here, see for yourself.”

“Well shoot. My assistant must have set that up. Well looky there I have 1.7 million followers HA! Dave you only have 347,000 and Corey you only have 338,000. You guys suck. 30 seconds to Mars fans kicks both the Foo Fighters and Slipknots butt in fans! Maybe your assistants need to get tips from my assistant.”

This is the conversation I hear them having in some bar somewhere in L.A

I can’t even bring myself to tweet someone. It’s just too lame. It’s like yelling “Notice me! Me! Look at me!” It screams desperation. Play a little hard to get.
Hey if it worked for Marilyn Monroe it’ll work for you.

Photo credit: opensourceway / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-SA 2.0)